A fresh look at the Proverbs 31 woman (part 1)

If I’m being perfectly honest, I’ve come to cringe every time someone says we need to strive to be like the Proverbs 31 woman. Usually the woman that I hear described from this chapter is over-achieving, hard working, self-sacrificial, and never sleeping. She’s a homemaker and a businesswoman. She has staff and a family and takes impeccable care of them all. Nothing phases her. She’s perfect and always has it all together. No one has anything bad to say about her because she’s good at everything and manages it all to perfection. She deserves great praise.

She also sounds completely unrealistic!

I’ve heard it said she is not a real person, but an ideal to strive for. And there has been much guilt and condemnation felt by many women (myself included) who have struggled to live up to her example of perfection.

But, I was re-reading this passage of Prov. 31:10-31 recently and the Holy Spirit gave me a radically different perspective. For the first time I saw this woman in a simple and encouragingly attainable light!

Over the next few blog posts I want to share portions of this passage with you.  We’ll start today with verses 10-15.  Let’s break it down verse by verse using the New American Standard Bible (NASB) translation. My personal notes are in italics within the scripture passage.

Description of a Worthy Woman

10 An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels.

           She is a woman worth being sought after.

11 The heart of her husband trusts in her, And he will have no lack of gain.

           She is trustworthy to her husband; he doesn’t fear unfaithfulness because she’s devoted to him.  She edifies him and contributes things that benefit his life.

 12 She does him good and not evil All the days of her life.

           She loves her husband well.  She is committed to her marriage for the long haul.

13 She looks for wool and flax And works with her hands in delight.

           She enjoys being productive and looks for ways to be so.  She’s not lazy.

 14 She is like merchant ships; She brings her food from afar.

           She seeks out ways to provide life-giving things for herself (notice it says her food). 

15 She rises also while it is still night And gives food to her household And portions to her maidens.

           She also provides life-giving nourishment to her family and her staff.  Sometimes it costs her some sleep, but she’s willing.  This sounds like she could either be a night owl OR a morning person.

So far, the overarching theme I see is that a “worthy woman” desires to love herself and others well and to nourish them with her words and actions.  These seem like characteristics I can (and do) strive for and somehow they seem much less motivated by social pressure to be perfect than I was seeing before.  What a relief!