Should We Practice Positive Self-Talk?
What’s the difference between positive self-talk and truth?
Self-talk is a popular topic these days, especially in the mental health spaces. But I hear it referenced all over the place: among my church groups, at coffee shops, on a variety of podcasts, and among my business networking groups. There seems to be this human need to combat the onslaught of negativity that saturates our world.
Apparently we are good at negative self-talk — beating ourselves up, focusing on the failures, comparing ourselves to others, getting into mental “ruts” and spiraling into what-ifs or should haves. I know this has been a struggle for me at times. The world’s answer to this is to practice self-love, positive self-talk and affirmations. I have two other blog posts about self-love you can check out, but let’s talk about self-talk and affirmations.
If you’re a believer in Jesus you should be cautious about the “packaging” the world puts their messages in. Positive self-talk and affirmations are often not the same thing as truth. What I usually hear when people are promoting these is that you tell yourself what you want to be true about yourself, not necessarily what is true in the moment. So if you’re fearful you tell yourself you’re fearless. If you’re insecure you tell yourself you’re confident and unstoppable, and so on.
I get the idea of encouraging yourself and trying to prevent spiraling and I don’t have a problem with that at all. But the world doesn’t have the right method for this. As Christians we need to have discerning ears to recognize the difference between something we hope for and aspire to and lies. Even in the Church, there can be flawed theology with this. If you want a million dollars but don’t have it, don’t lie by saying over and over that you do to try to “speak something into existence.” That’s an obvious example, but I know many Christians who use “positive confession” to try to speak away pain/suffering, or speak into being whatever they want. But it’s a dangerous thing to neglect the theology of suffering that Christ talks about or to assume we can command anything we want to happen. It’s so important to read scripture in context and not cherry pick the ones we want to apply to us or assume things like because Jesus said we can “ask anything in [His] name and it will be given” to us that there are no limits or nuances around that. I caution all of us to be thoughtful and not flippant with God’s word.
It behooves us to have accurate perceptions of reality. When you’re feeling insecure, discouraged, [insert whatever negative emotion] the answer is to focus on the truth as God defines it instead of trying to conjure up your own. There are plenty of promises He gives in scripture for His people and truth He says about you personally to fill any void. Don’t just fill your language with positive self-talk or take scripture out of context to suit your fancy. Be a truth-teller! Tell yourself the gospel every day and speak your gratitude for what Jesus has done to save you. Tell yourself who you are in light of Who He is. Remind your soul what your identity in Christ is because of what He has done for you. Remind yourself that His strength is perfected in your weakness. Don’t try to be your own source of everything you need to succeed. Remember that it’s His power in you, His strength, His comfort, His giving you gifts/talents, His provision, His goodness.
We all fall short and it’s right to acknowledge that. Maybe you have a day where you aren’t enough (actually this is almost always). The good news is there is One Who IS ALWAYS enough! Maybe you’re facing something that’s too hard for you. The good news is nothing is too hard for God!
This is the kind of self-talk we should practice. Stand on His word, Christian, not your own visions of how you want the world to think of you. Can we look for inspiration and encouragement around us and write it on sticky notes to remind us of truth? Yes. But remember to keep the Word of God as your source of truth and only accept those things that line up with that reality.
It’s actually more important that you know the truth about who God is than trying to ramp yourself up each day with affirmations about yourself. When you’re confident in God’s power that raised Christ from the dead that He has chosen to put inside of you (see Romans 8:11); when you know the kind of just and gracious God you serve; when you remind yourself that you’re on God’s unfailing team (not that He’s on yours) & nothing can separate you from His love (Romans 8:31-39); when you tell your soul to make much of Him repeatedly; when you pour out your heart in worship because He is worthy instead of trying to convince yourself you are worthy…I guarantee you, and I speak from my own personal experience, you will be fortified with exactly what you need to face your day.
Because He is God!